stormerider: (Default)
[personal profile] stormerider
So I found out why my neuro wasn't getting back to me... they were, the Asterisk (trixbox) phone system just wasn't emailing me the voicemails. Doh! Apparently when I set it up I used an old account that hasn't been active in 3 years but Comcast only pruned it out of their system somewhat recently-ish. Yeah... so much confusion entailed. Fixed that, now I'm going to add a Nagios monitor to actually *test* email delivery + reception on an automated basis, so I get notified if it gets fucked up again.

So, regarding the neuro... I have my appointment for Botox rescheduled (yes, it is a migraine treatment, because migraines are vasculomuscular spasms, and Botox helps freeze the muscles... that's my layperson understanding, at least). They also called in a 3 day course of prednisone to break the current 5-day migraine I've been dealing with. They said if I don't see an improvement after day 2 to call them and they'll go from there to see if I need to go to the ER or whatnot.

I have to say, I'm scared as hell to take the prednisone. I know the effect it had on my mind when I was on it for a year, and while I know that a 3 day course is not likely to have the same kind of effect (and certainly not the same extent, given how it gradually altered my personality)... I don't want to become that person again. EVER. It turned me into a raging asshole, nitpicking over everything, always needing to be right, dismissing everyone else, and turning all of my ASD symptoms/triggers up to beyond max.

While that helped make me realize (*after the fact*) what those problems are and how to cope with them better... I do NOT WANT TO BE LIKE THAT AGAIN. It nearly cost me my marriage with [personal profile] elialshadowpine. The only way I'm taking those pills is if she thinks it's the best thing, and I'm sure as hell not doing anything longer than three days. I don't trust it, and I don't trust myself not to become my evil!asshole self again while under the influence of it.

Date: 2013-06-28 07:59 pm (UTC)
forests_of_fire: A woman with shoulder-length black hair. She has a friendly, but serious smile on her face. (Oleander: Default)
From: [personal profile] forests_of_fire
Ugh. I totally understand not wanting to go back to a dark place like that. Hopefully, you'll go through the steroid pulse without a problem.


stormerider: (Default)
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